That Boy - Page 45

*~*~*~*


I didn't go back to sleep after J left. I didn't even go back inside my room. I stood on the balcony and watched the darkness turn to dawn.

When my alarm beeped inside my room, I made myself move off of the railing, my arms sore from leaning on them for four hours. My face was probably stained with tears and I felt like I hadn't slept at all, which was true. The few spared moments of letting my tired eyes close didn't count as sleep.

I changed and tried to make myself look presentable in the bathroom, brushing my hair and washing my face. I held on to the hope of seeing J again in school, although something inside told me he had no reason now to completely run away, now that his parents were arrested.

Were his parents arrested? I didn't even know. Two nights ago when I pulled him, bleeding and weak, into my house, the police were at his house but J never said anything about what happened after that. Did he even know? Yesterday morning was the only time we'd been apart in the last 48 hours. Did he run home yesterday morning and find out what happened?

I took note to remind myself to ask him later on if I saw him. I suddenly remembered something that brought a big smile to my face. I ran downstairs and looked in the clothes dryer. His purple hoodie! I pulled it out and examined it. It was warm and dry from the machine, and not a single stain of blood was on it!  I folded the shirt up nicely and put it in my backpack, hurriedly doing a few math problems as I ate a quick breakfast.


Waiting through class was torture. J wasn't in any of my morning classes, but I faithfully held onto hope for the afternoon. The clock ticked slowly. SO slowly. The wait was excruciating, so much that I felt like screaming and banging my head on my desk.

Then I grew mad at myself. I was keeping my composure on the outside, but inside I burned. Why did I have to like J so much?! It hurt!!! It hurt yearning to see him again. I felt stupid. I never thought that a boy could make me feel this way. I never knew this kind of pain before.

Pain before ecstasy. It was like I had to emotionally suffer before I was worthy enough to feel the heavenly delight of seeing him again. I realized that I was talking about love. This is what love feels like.

No, I don't love him. I don't!

Do I?

The bell rang, scaring me out of my skin. I was so concentrated on my thoughts and inner feelings; I was the last one to stuff my notebooks in my bag and rush out the door. I was almost late to my computer class, being the last one in the door. Hey, I had to run across the whole school, okay!? Go easy on me!

I didn't want to notice Jonathan's eyes on me, but I did. I gave him a half smile as I sat down in my chair across the room. The computer I was assigned to had a good view of the door, but it was also one of the farthest ones away from it. That means if I embarrass myself in front of Jonathan, it won't be easy to rush out the door when class was over. Wait, was I caring about how I acted again? I was being like my friends, always criticizing myself, wasn't I?

See, without J around I was a totally different person! I wasn't allowed to feel like myself. I opened my homework files and began working on them as the teacher told us what to do next. Across the room, when the teacher was focused on her own computer screen, which was projected up on the wall, I saw Jonathan signal to me.

I looked over at him, around my big computer monitor. "What?" I whispered, knowing he was reading my lips. He mouthed back to me; "Are you okay?"

I sighed and replied, "Yeah, why?"

He gave me a look. "You just seem tense."

I gestured sloppily to him, telling him it was nothing, and then I focused back on my computer. I wasn't acting tense! What was he thinking? But then again he was the silent observant type, and if he saw something was unsettling me, then it most likely was hard for other kids to see. That comforted me.


Halfway through class, I caught myself staring at the door. The little skinny window didn't allow me to see much, therefore if someone passed by you only saw a quick glimpse of them. If J walked by, and my eyes missed it, well, I'd go nuts!

I felt my shoudlers slump slightly. The computer classes were in a little isolated corner of the big school, there was no way he would just happen to walk by. I was acting really stupid today. Still, I kept foolishly glancing at the door.

After 15 more minutes, I simply felt sick to my stomach. I was missing him so much it literally was making me sick. What was I doing to myself? I rasied my hand, half deliberately. The teacher called on me and my voice spoke on its own. "May I use a hall pass?"
The teacher looked up at the wall clock above her desk. "Its almost the end of class, Harleen."

"I know…" My stomach felt sicker. Of course she wouldn't let me go in the hall, what was I thinking?! I just needed to wait seven more minutes, how hard could that be?

"Go ahead, Harleen." The teacher allowed me to go! I felt better as I stood up gratefully, saving my work and closing it down. Once I came back to class I wouldn't have more time to work on it anyway. I walked out of the room, not bothering to stop a weak little sigh escaping my lungs.

The door didn't close behind me. "Harley, are you okay?" Jonathan leaned out of the classroom. I laughed, turning back at him. "Yeah, of course, Jonny!" I was surprised he came after me.

"You look kinda nauseous." He kept his worried blue eyes on me. I played with my hair, wanting to just go to the bathroom and relax. "I'm fine."

The teacher called him back into the classroom, and he gave me a small smile before closing the door, leaving me alone in the hallway.


*~*~*~*


"Jonathan, go back to your seat, please." The teacher said halfheartedly, used to teenager behavior. "We all know how much you adore Ms. Quinzel." She smiled as the class laughed lightly, not taking the joke too serious.

I blushed and muttered, "What? I don't like her" as I obediently went back to my seat near the door. I made the last few finishing touches on my assignment, knowing it was already flawless and higher quality than an A+.

Something was bothering Harley. I was determined to find out what. It seemed like she was having friend trouble, since her whole popular group had grown a tiny bit further apart from her over the past few days. Or was she the one growing away from them?

I thought about my father, and the little talk he had with me yesterday. He went to talk to the abusive guy, who apparently had a son around my age. My father took longer than I thought he would and when he came back, it was deep into the night, when I was asleep. I asked my mother this morning if he was alright and she said he was a bit troubled.

I figured he was fine. He's had hard patients before. But I had my suspicions about who the man's son could be.


*~*~*~*


Jonathan went back in the class, closing the door behind him. I kept walking down the hall, hating the sick feeling in my stomach. It still surprised me that he actually stepped out of class just to make sure I was okay. Whatever, I just wanted to forget about him.

I rounded the corner and stopped dead in my tracks when I almost bumped into my father's black hoodie. "J!" I squeaked, a grin spreading across my blushing face.

He didn't seem surprised to see me at all. "Harley… I don't have a name, remember?" He reminded me, looking at me with black eyes shadowed by his hood.

Yikes, I forgot I was only supposed to call him that when no one else was around to hear. The hall was empty, but we were still in a public place. "Oh yeah, sorry!"

He smirked at my giddiness that I was hopelessly trying to hide. "Let's go outside." He glanced behind him as he walked outside, me following closely. The hallways in this place don't stay empty for long.