literature

That Boy - Page 48

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*~*~*~*

What was wrong with me?

The nagging question would not leave me in peace. I was determined to go to class without showing everyone the emotional breakage in my heart today. I held my chin up in the hectic halls and walked into Science without lowering my gaze. My desk was in the back of the room still and I tried not to look at the empty seat next to mine. I set my notebooks down and pulled out the papers I would need for class. I ignored the lonely feeling that clouded me and forced a smile on my face as the teacher passed by.

The bell rang to start class and I couldn't help looking back as the teacher closed the classroom door and addressed the class about an upcoming test. I lowered my eyes as he passed me and made his way to the front of the room to write on the white board. Before turning my attention to him up front, I lifted my gaze to stare hopefully at the door window, wishing J would come in so I could apologize to him.

I must have been staring at the door for a while, because eventually the teacher called out my name, making me jump in surprise. "Pay attention, please Miss Quinzel." He warned and continued with his lecture. I started taking notes reluctantly, resisting the urge to put a lot of angry pressure on the pencil and break the tip.

After a few minutes of pointless scribbles I began doodling on the bottom section of the lined paper. I drew J's dark shadowed eyes. If I couldn't look at them in real life, at least I could look at them on my soft notebook paper. Before I knew it, I had drawn a portrait in almost perfect detail of him. I had never drawn a better picture and I was slightly shocked at my work. It was almost as beautiful as the real boy.

The classroom door suddenly opened behind me and I quickly covered my precious drawing with one hand and whirled around hopefully and fearfully to see who had entered.

It was Travis.

I just barely realized he wasn't in the classroom. The whole class turned to look at him and froze in shock at the sight. His nose was dripping with blood and it was obvious that he had wiped it away from his face earlier. His hair was ruffled and his shirt was grass-stained and stretched slightly as if someone had been pulling roughly on it. Travis held his arm as if it was sprained and didn't meet the teacher's gaze as he slowly made his way to the front of the room where his seat was.

The class turned to one another and began the whispering marathon. Travis was notorious for being the type of guy to start fights, but no one had ever seen him this roughened up. I admit; he looked really bad. I almost felt sorry for him. The teacher demanded to know what happened. Travis handed him a note from the office and told him it was nothing. He said the office already called his parents and he had lunch detention for a month because of the fight he started last period.

The teacher gave him a bag of ice and rolled his eyes before he tried to bring the students' attention back to him. Travis looked so meek. It was amazing. He kept his head down and focused on keeping the ice on his elbow. What on Earth happened to him!?

I couldn't stop staring at him in front of me on the other side of the room. He said his fight started right after last period. Last period ended when J walked away from me. Oh God, did he fight with J? Did J beat him up like that? How badly did Travis hurt J!?! I almost gasped in horror out loud as I again remembered the gaping hole in J's ribs that I bandaged up last night. If Travis punched or kicked him in that spot... oh J... oh J please be okay.

I had to find out what happened. Why wasn't J here!? Was he hurt even worse than Travis? He already was before the fight, technically.  I had to know. I had to. When the teacher was done talking and everyone was gathering together to work on the review packet, I moved over to Travis.

I kneeled on the floor next to him and put my review paper on his desk, acting like I was going to work on it with him. "Hey Travis…" I said as he looked over shyly at me. "Hey Harleen..."

"What happened?" I asked in concern. I wasn't concerned for him, I was concerned for J. But he didn't have to know that. He tried to give me a half smile as he shook his head and said, "Nothing."

Stubborn prideful boy. I tried again. "It looks pretty bad, are you alright?" Ugh, I hated acting like I cared about him! I decided I might as well go full out on my performance. My hand went up to his shoulder kindly. "Um, yeah I'm okay. It's not as bad as it looks." Travis mumbled, casting his eyes down at his paper.

Dammit, just tell me what the hell happened!  Don't make me baby you! "Is your arm broken?" I asked, forcing sadness on my face as I moved my hand to stroke his hurt arm. That did it. Thank god! He opened up to me, thinking I truly cared about him. "The nurse said it was only sprained. It'll heal in a few days." This time he gave me a true smile. It creeped me out.

"Well at least you don't have to worry about homework!" I smiled back, cringing inside. He nodded, grinning. "Yeah."

Come on Travis, tell me more! I don't care about your stupid arm, I care about who you fought with! "Who did this to you?" I pouted, still holding his arm. Please Travis, don't close off to me!

It took him a while to reply and I almost wondered if he was scared to tell me. Perhaps he was. Or maybe he was just embarrassed to admit defeat in a fight. "Please tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone." I offered.

"It was just that kid..." He shook his head and tried to shrug. "No big deal." J fought him. J beat him up like this. I felt proud of him. And Travis didn't call him a freak. Wow. I nodded and let the subject go. My worries arose. "Did you get him back?"

"Oh yeah, it's not like I lost a fight to HIM, heh, you know?" He sheepishly boasted. "He's nothing! Really, he, he's nothing."

"Of course not." I smiled, hiding my annoyance. Travis continued bragging, not wanting me to think he was weak. "I had Brandon and Jake with me. They, uh helped... but I did most of... you know, it's not like—"

The door opened again and I whirled around to see who it was. I had to really beat down the urge to break out into a grin as J calmly walked to his seat in the back of the room. He was perfectly fine as far as I could tell. I was glad.

The class turned back to their own little groups and ignored J. I don't think any of them suspected he was Travis's tormentor. I saw J lift his hooded head to stare directly at Travis beside me. I looked at Travis and I could plainly see a flash of fear cross his expression. Travis quickly turned his back to J and started shakily writing on his paper with his sprained arm. I glanced at his handwriting before standing and picking up my own paper. There was no way Travis could write. His arm was broken. I could tell. He lied when he said it was only sprained.

"I hope you get better." That was all I said as I tried to walk slowly back to my desk. "Harleen..." Travis suddenly spoke up softly. I turned back in surprise at the timidness in his voice. "Yes?"

"...Nothing." He cleared his throat and sniffed as some blood dripped out of his nose. I continued walking to my desk. What was he going to tell me?

I brushed a strand of hair out of my face as I moved around behind J and took my seat. I realized my drawing of J was in plain sight. Shit!!! I quickly flipped the page in my notebook, embarrassed. We both awkwardly sat there. I couldn't think of what to say to him. My mind went blank. "Umm..." I guess that's all that came out of my mouth. At least he knew I wanted to start a conversation.

"Spit it out Harl." He said softly so no one else would hear. Spit out what? What did he mean? God why wasn't my brain working today!? "Ask me."

I obeyed him without thinking. "Did you fight Travis?"

He smiled. I guess I asked the right question. But he didn't answer vocally. I looked over at him and asked the question that I really cared about. "Did he hurt you?"

"No." His eyes met mine and I could see the glint of annoyance in them. I wanted to know the truth. Was he really alright? "Are you sure?"

"Do you see ME with a bloody nose?" He almost chuckled, turning his hawk-like gaze back to Travis across the room. I smiled at that and picked up my pencil, scribbling down half-hearted answers on my worksheet. "I'm glad you did that to him." I whispered.

"What?" He looked back over at me again and I could see confusion on his face. I nodded, looking at him sideways. "He deserved it."

J's black eyes never blinked as he glared at me. "Why did he deserve it, Harl?" I cleared my throat and decided to come clean about what I had witnessed a few weeks ago. "Because he did hurt you. Maybe not today, but he HAS hurt you before. I've seen him do it."

There. I did it. I confessed. I saw one of the many fights he went through. I didn't look at J's face again. I didn't know what he was thinking about me now.

He finally spoke up after a few minutes. "So that's what you think this is? A victory for me? Justice served?"

My pencil slowed. "Well... yeah." What else could it be?

"It's not." I felt his gaze on me but I still didn't meet his eyes. "I didn't fight him because of revenge. I fought him because I wanted to hurt someone. He was just there. Wrong place. Wrong time." He told me, still staring at me. "It could have happened to anyone."

I shrugged slightly. It happened to Travis. And he deserved it.

"Harley, it could have happened to you."

Now I was annoyed. He was trying to scare me out of his life again! I straightened up in my chair and turned directly to him. "Then why didn't it?" I almost hissed.

That got him. He was dumbstruck, although his posture and expression was normal. "Why didn't it?!" I urged him to answer. "Why!?"

"I don't know!" He suddenly replied, irritation in his words. I stared at him, waiting for him to explain WHY it didn't happen to me. He turned his gaze to the wall, refusing to let the question dwell in his mind.

I turned back to my paper. "Well tell me when you figure it out."

*~*~*~*

I was angry at her for putting that question in my mind. That was the worst possible thing to ask me. That was the question that I avoided.

Why didn't it happen to her? Why did I walk away and take out my anger on someone else? Why didn't I just take it out on her? Right there behind the school. Why didn't I take my anger out on her?

There were multiple answers to that question.

I took a deep breath and told my mind to wander elsewhere. Next time this happens, I won't take it out on someone else. I will take it out on her. Her stupid little brain is convinced that I would never hurt her. She is wrong. WRONG. Nothing is stopping me from hurting her. No emotion is preventing me from hurting her.

The door behind us suddenly opened and a secretary glanced at me as she walked up to the teacher. I stood up, knowing she was here for me. Harley was alert and concerned as the two adults glanced at me again while exchanging quiet words.

She looked up at me and took a breath to say something. As I expected, she couldn't find anything to say. The secretary motioned for me to go out in the hall as she made her way back over. I didn't look down at Harley before leaving the room.
:D I like this one a lot. More dialogue, more emotions running amuck! Travis humbled into submission XD Happy new year by the way! :party:

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red-fire-blade's avatar
(bowing to awesomeness) i wish i can hug u!!!!