That Boy - Page 50

*~*~*~*
The air outside was crisp and chilly, but just warm enough so that my body didn't have the urge to shiver. A layer of grey clouds had softly replaced the once-summer-blue sky, casting their misty gaze over the city. My hair was down around my shoulders and the wind was gentle with it. I was still upset about how our conversation ended in science class. True, I felt bad to see J get taken down to the office, but I still felt a little angry inside at his reluctance to simply tell me the truth. He liked me. I know he did. Why was that such a confusing concept to him? Why couldn't he just admit it? At least to himself?!

As I put my notebooks containing all my doodles of J in my backpack, leaning on the chain link fence attached to the bridge on my way home, I touched a piece of soft fabric folded behind my math textbook. His purple hoodie! I still had it in my bag! I moaned to myself at my stupidity. How could I forget!? I most definitely had millions of chances to give it back to him today!

I'll give it to him tomorrow. I'm sure he's far from the school grounds by now. Sighing, I looked across the stretch of grass and parking lot before me to the school building. Pushing away lonely feelings, I zipped up my backpack again and slung it over my shoulder as I climbed up the bridge. I wasn't looking forward to my parents asking me more questions about why I sluffed school yesterday and got home so late.

I looked back once more at the school as I walked to the crest of the bridge, a little part inside of me hoping to see J in the distance watching my back on my way home. There was no sign of him. But I did see... a police car?

I stopped walking and furrowed my brow. Yes, it was a police car. What was it doing in front of the school? My suspicions arose rapidly along with my heartbeat as an officer walked out of the front doors of the school. He held the door open for a student to follow him out.

It was J.

I was in shock. It couldn't be J! It had to be another kid! What could a cop possibly want to talk to J about!? Well... okay he DID beat up a kid and... he also stole from a store yesterday… plus his parents were probably not on the law's good side... God knows what else he's done....

Was J being arrested!? Being sent to Juvenile Hall?

The thought sent a shiver of horror down my spine. They were walking toward the police car. It wasn't parked very far away from the front of the school.

I suddenly sprinted down the sidewalk, my mind blank with fear. My eyes were wide and my breath had been stolen, but my feet flew. Sharp pains vibrated from my heel to my knee with each forceful step. J, hold on!!! Please, hold on!!

I dashed across a strip of grass and tossed myself around some parked cars on the far side of the wide parking lot. I wasn't even half way to him yet and they were only a few yards from the car!!! My face felt strangely wet, but I didn't notice. My lungs burned but I still ran, never decreasing my break-neck speed.

The officer opened the back door of the car for him to get in. No, J, wait!!! Wait, please! My voice could only echo in my head, not having enough breath to scream out loud. Please!!! I can't lose you!!!

It felt like years had passed. It felt like I ran across the entire country just to get to him. It felt like time stopped when he glanced up and met my eyes. The whole universe stopped and there was nothing but me and him, staring at each other through a haze that threatened to take him away from me. And an instant later, I crashed into in his arms.

My body felt bruised from the collision and my breath sucked oxygen from the fabric of his shirt desperately. My hands clenched around his back in dire possession and the spot on his chest where my head was resting became wet from my tears. Through all the pain and panic of the threat of losing him, I felt relieved that I had made it to him on time. I hadn't lost him! Yet.

*~*~*~*

I hid a grimacing flinch as she smacked right into me. It felt like a sack of bricks was flung into my chest, and I almost fell over from the force of her embrace. Where the hell did she come from!? She just appeared out of nowhere and crashed into me! How rude. I stood there trapped and in shock for a couple of seconds.

Officer Gordon looked as shocked as I felt, but he only scratched his head and turned his attention away as my face blushed red. Damn you Harley! I put my hands on her shoulders and tried to push her off of me, but she held on like a damned boa constrictor. With strained breath, I made a face at the officer and apologized. "I'll... be there in a minute."

He nodded and got in the driver seat of the car. "Harley get off." I growled into her hair, using what was left of the air in my lungs. "Harley...!"

"J, what's going on?" Her voice was a sob. I was surprised to find out that she was crying. Hard. I didn't know what to say. Her grip loosened and she turned her face up to look at mine. "Is it because of Travis?"

It took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about, but I came to realize she thought I was being arrested for assault. "No... No, Harl. It's..."

Should I tell her? Should I tell her the truth and say that I was going into foster care? Should I put the realistic thought in her mind that we might never see each other again? Should I say goodbye?

Or should I lie and tell her that I just needed to answer some questions about my parents at the police station? Should I tell her that I'll be back to school tomorrow? Should I lie and tell her there was nothing to worry about?

Her crystal blue eyes were fearful and worried. They never blinked as she studied my blank face for what could probably be the last time.

What was I thinking? Was this the last time we'd see each other? Of course it wasn't. No. NO. It was not. The very thought made me mad, even angrier than the thought of Jonathan asking her out. I glanced at the police car, seeing the officer inside clicking around on his computer, most likely finding the exact location of my new home.

The stupid cops weren't going to tell me where to go and herd me like a sheep for slaughter. They didn't control me. They couldn't take me away from Harley.

My gaze went back to her eyes and I put one hand up to run it through her hair above her ear, opening the blonde curtain so she could hear my words clearly. "I'll be back Harley."

She didn't believe me. Her head dropped onto my chest and her grip didn't loosen. I sighed, glancing at the police car again. I wanted Harley to let go of me. If the officer saw that I was connected to her, he'd ask questions. I didn't want him to ask questions about her. We were already showing our connection too much. With a flare of annoyance at myself, I recalled telling her sternly only a few weeks ago that she shouldn't get involved. It seemed like every day, I dug a hole for her to drop into. Every day I made it deeper and deeper. It was my fault she was getting involved. I was digging her her own grave.

"Harley let me go." I said sternly, attempting to push her away again.

"J, I..." She started to say, resisting my force. She suddenly grabbed onto her bag and zipped it open, keeping one hand on me just in case I left her. "I have your shirt!" She pulled it out and let her bag drop to the parking lot.

"Keep it." I urged, not accepting it. She shoved it forcefully into my arm. "Why? For a souvenir!?!" Her voice growled, as she whirled her head up to glare into my eyes. "I don't want your damn SHIRT, J, I want YOU!"

The purple fabric was slung loosely over my frozen arm. I stared at her, surprised and slightly impressed at her sudden burst of anger. She… she really did care about me, didn't she?

"J, I love you..."

*~*~*~*

My voice dropped into a defeated whisper as I felt all of my energy slowly begin to fade inside me. He just stared at me like I was speaking a different language to him. Why couldn't he just understand how much I loved him? How many times did it have to say it out loud in front of him? How many times did I have to scream and giggle and cry about it in my OWN mind? How many times did I have to look into his eyes and dream of kissing him before it was obvious to him that I fucking LOVED him!?!

"…I love you." I repeated once more as I closed my eyes and wished to die. I expected to hear the car door open and close. I expected him to leave me right then and there. I expected the car to start with a  purr of the engine and drive off, its sound slowly fading into silence, meshing with the street traffic and submerging him from me just as the ocean submerged him from me last night. I expected to feel the impossibly strong light inside my heart go dark without so much as a hopeful flicker.

But he didn't leave me. The police car didn't drive away. My heart didn't break.
His warm breath was on my nose and his hand slid under my hair to hold my face against his as he dipped in slowly for a kiss.

He kissed me.

If I thought the universe stopped when our eyes met, then this... this moment had the power to stop God's breath. J kissed me. His lips were... mine. He gave them to me and I just stood there and took them like a deer caught in the headlights, surprised and stupid.

His pressure was perfect. Hard enough to convince my heart that he had no hesitation, but also soft enough to prevent the kiss from becoming uncomfortable for me. For a second I was afraid that he had experience kissing before. He did it like a pro.

I only came to my senses when his mouth pulled away and his hand behind my head started to slide out of my hair. I didn't let him get far. I grabbed the collar of his hoodie and pulled him back to me. I couldn't bear to lose him.

I was only able to get half of a second of feeling his lips against mine again. I cherished the taste of his breath and the smell of his skin against my nose. He put his hands up to the sides of my face and gently forced our kiss to come to an end. Tears leaked out of my eyes all over again as his eyes captured mine.

"Harley. Listen to me."

I listened.

"This is not the last time you'll see me." His voice was absolutely truthful. He meant what he said. He wasn't just saying it to make me to let go of him, like he tried before. "I'll be back." He nodded, keeping our gazes locked. "I promise."

I smiled, comforted and assured. He meant it. I wasn't losing him.

His hands left me and his back turned as he approached the police car. My smile didn't leave with him. I knew he'd be back. I believed him.

He didn't look back or wave, but I still watched the car drive off. I watched it until it turned onto the highway and sped north, far, far out of my sight. I didn't know where he was going and I didn't know how long he'd be gone, but I did know one thing. He would be back.