I'm sick of being poor

My mother barely makes minimum wage and she takes care of me and my brother more than half of the time. Dad just had his new fucking baby and spent a fortune on new fabulous baby shit and hospital bills for my stepmother, we're saving money for Grandma's funeral so she can be buried in a graveyard she wants to be buried in (sadly the graveyard where her own parents are laid rose in cost or whatever) and guess what? I don't have a job because I have no time for one with the musical and now the winter play and all, so we're fucked.

I'm sick of not being able to scrounge up enough money to even rent a pathetic dress so I can go to school dances. I'm sick of shying away from the urge to ask a guy out because I know I don't have enough money to pay for a date! And no, I do not believe in making the guy pay for the girl, that's fucking selfish and he probably has money troubles too.

Prom is going to cost like 500 dollars this year, AND I don't have a dress for it. Our family doesn't even have enough money to go the fucking MOVIES this weekend. How messed up is that?

I'm disgusted with money more and more by the day. I hate it. I hate being restricted by the lack of it. I hate having to hear my father peek over his pride and confess that we can't go out this weekend. I hate seeing him ashamed like that. And I hate seeing my mother struggle to get fucking groceries once a month. GOD DAMMIT why did they have to get divorced!?!?!?! It's fucked up everything!!!! I'm being transferred every two weeks from one hell to the next!!!!!

When I push through college and become a psychologist, everything will be fine. I'll make enough money then to pay off my student loans and help whatever's left of my family by then. I just have to get good grades and get a scholarship, no more pathetic B+'s on my report card. I'll get involved with movies, move to California or something, I'll make more money then too. I just need to get through this remaining time in High school and then I'll be fine in college. I'll have more time for a full time job after high school.